Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder
Emptiness, shame, guilt, low self-worth, hopelessness – you might be experiencing some of these emotions at this very moment. Maybe you are perplexed as to what just happened to you. You might be in one or more of the following situations:. Before you can begin to regain your sanity, you must understand the dynamics of your relationship, including who you were dating, why were you dating them, and why it was destined to fail from the very beginning. Why does this breakup hurt more than any other breakup? We are going to answer this question and much more.
An Interesting Mix: Male Borderline Personality Disorder
A reminder that this article from our magazine Visions was published more than 1 year ago. It is here for reference only. Some information in it may no longer be current. It also represents the point of the view of the author only. See the author box at the bottom of the article for more about the contributor.
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) affects a person’s emotions and can be quite Their moods are so intense that they interfere with everyday life. stable relationships with friends, family and loved ones, often swinging from feelings of.
The symptoms of borderline personality disorder usually first occur in the teenage years and early twenties. However, onset may occur in some adults after the age of thirty, and behavioral precursors are evident in some children. Borderline disorder often results in devastating effects for those who suffer from it, as well as for their families and friends. The behaviors associated with borderline personality disorder may be extremely disruptive to your life in many ways, and to your family as well, resulting in frequent arguments, fights, running away, absences from and poor performance at school and work, frequent job changes and divorces.
To place these numbers in perspective, at this rate, approximately 1 in every 17 individuals would suffer from the disorder. Therefore, most people personally know more than one person with borderline disorder, and about one family in four has someone in their family with the disorder. People with borderline disorder are much more likely to seek medical help for physical and emotional symptoms than other people in the general population. Many of them have not received treatment, or have been misdiagnosed, resulting in treatment failure.
There are biological and environmental factors that increase the risk of someone developing borderline disorder. These have shown significant abnormalities in specific pathways in the brains of people with borderline disorder compared to people in the general population. The reverse has not been shown to occur. Effective treatments are now available for people who suffer from borderline disorder.
What is splitting in borderline personality disorder?
Few things are more intoxicating than a partner who is brimming with infatuation, or more inexplicable than to watch this same person become resentful and start disengaging for no apparent reason. In a relationship with a person suffering with the traits of Borderline Personality Disorder BPD these extreme highs and lows are commonplace.
Your partner may emotionally discard you or become abusive and leave you to feel confused and broken-hearted. Or you may have invested yourself in the relationship and all the latest communication and relationship tools and now feel the relationship has continued to erode and you have no more to give. So they leave you – or you break up — or one of you finally decides not to reconcile, yet again.
If any of this sounds like your relationship, please read on.
Needless to say, if you have a loved one with BPD, life can be fraught Take our 2-minute quiz to see if you may benefit from further diagnosis and treatment. To date there are no drugs approved by the FDA that have been.
Few, if any, mental health disorders leave a person feeling rejuvenated and refreshed. In fact, more often than not, mental health problems do just the opposite. Exhausted by the constant up and downs of mood swings, persistent low feelings, and general psychological anguish, people diagnosed with mental health disorders frequently can feel subjected to the confines of their own mind. Borderline personality disorder BPD , in particular, can be one such illness that zaps a person of energy, self-esteem, and hope for a better tomorrow.
With proper treatment and maintenance, disorders like borderline personality disorder can be managed in such a way that allows you to live the fulfilling, happy life you deserve. Similar to some symptoms of bipolar disorder or anxiety, persons with borderline personality disorder often have intense mood swings frequently mixed with paranoia.
Borderline Personality Disorder
Borderline personality disorder is characterized by poor self-image, a feeling of emptiness, and great difficulty coping with being alone. People with this disorder have highly reactive and intense moods, and unstable relationships. Their behavior can be impulsive.
But what makes BPD unique from other personality disorders is that emotional, interpersonal, self, behavioral and cognitive dysregulation.
Lacking emotional skin, they feel agony at the slightest touch or movement. Like other personality disorders, BPD is a long-term pattern of behavior that begins during adolescence or early adulthood. But what makes BPD unique from other personality disorders is that emotional, interpersonal, self, behavioral and cognitive dysregulation. What does that mean? The possibility of facing separation or rejection can lead to self-destructive behaviors, self-harm or suicidal thinking.
If they feel a lack of meaningful relationships and support, it damages their self-image. Sometimes, they may feel as though they do not exist at all. When entering a new relationship, a person experiencing BPD may demand to spend a lot of time with their partner.
Most accurate article on BPD we have read—kudos!
Personality disorders is considered an impairment of the way one thinks. People with BPD face the struggles of the condition on a daily basis, and on top of that often experience stigma, discrimination, isolation and insults. In fact, individuals presenting with BPD experience an extraordinarily rich and intense life of both highs and lows — higher than the highest of highs and lowered than the lowest of lows for most people all year.
Here is a list on the upsides of BPD.
Learn how borderline personality disorder can affect intimacy, and why people how your symptoms have affected your dating life and romantic relationships. After all, it’s really nice to have someone feel so strongly about you and to feel as.
Paddy is in love. There are times [when our relationship] has plummeted to the depths whereby we were both ready to give up. A flicker of joy and recognition. The person they knew and love is still there, somewhere deep down inside. Those moments are what the person longs for. Still, to Paddy, it is worth it. But it is nowhere near as hard as being the one with BPD.
My girlfriend is not a burden, her BPD is. For most, it may hold little that feels inspirational. Hearing someone else share your struggles and negotiate the realities of the illness can be both comforting and illuminating. Borderline Personality Disorder is a chronic and complex mental health disorder marked by instability, and interpersonal relationships are often the stage on which this instability plays out.
Barbara Greenberg , a clinical psychologist who treats patients with BPD, explains:. Often, this emptiness and intense fear of abandonment are the result of early childhood trauma and the absence of secure, healthy attachments in the vital formative years. Paradoxically, the overwhelming fear manifests in behaviors that deeply disrupt the relationship and pushes partners away rather than pulls them closer, resulting in a stormy and tumultuous dynamic that typically emerges in the early days of dating.
The Frustrating No-Man’s-Land of Borderline Personality Disorder
People with BPD might struggle with painful thoughts and beliefs about themselves and other people. This can cause distress in their work life, family life and social life. Some people with BPD harm themselves.
Another way to understand how a person with BPD experiences life is In fact, some people find this level of devotion from a partner pleasant.
Simplistically, in chaos theory , the butterfly effect is the sensitive dependence on initial conditions, where a small change at one place in a nonlinear system can result in large differences to a later state. Relationships change us. It is inevitable. Whether the changes that occur whilst in a certain relationship, or after that relationship has ended are minute or profound, is irrelevant; they are changes nevertheless.
And I maintain that these changes will eventually have demonstrable ramifications in the future; your future. Twenty-years ago I had a girlfriend who liked classical music. Now, twenty-years later, I love classical music and I can be thankful for that relationship for introducing me to something that has brought me indescribable joy, long after the demise of that particular relationship. At that time everything was questioned, confusing and ambiguous; even as far as the will-to-live was concerned.
People with borderline personality disorder BPD often have rocky relationships, both romantic and platonic. Romantic relationships present a unique set of challenges for people with BPD and for their partners. For example, a person with BPD may be affectionate and doting, but within a few hours, their emotional state may switch. They may feel smothered or overwhelmed. This can lead them to push away the partner they had just been drawing closer.
After a major suicide attempt in her early twenties, Anna Mehler Paperny resolved The Borderline Personality Disorder Survival Guide: Life is short Time is fast.
This mental illness is marked by patterns of mood-swings, poor self-image, and unpredictable behaviour. These symptoms often end in outbursts of rage, depression , impulsive destructive decisions, and relationship issues. However, instead of exploding outward, people with quiet BPD implode. But those emotions are typically acted against ourselves. There are many symptoms of quiet BPD that often get blamed on other mental or physical health issues, or simply go unnoticed. Although, if they have quiet BPD, you may not even know they are blaming themselves.
Additionally, those with quiet BPD tend to shut down when emotions get too intense. Fear of emotional intimacy can be a pretty easy one to hide, all you have to do is not let people get too close. They spend so much energy trying to make sure that others like them, and if they sense that someone else is mad at them — their whole world will begin to crumble.
They often feel they deserve the pain.
Borderline Personality and Abuse Cycle
Just like their female counterparts, males also have an intense and persistent fear of abandonment that permeants nearly every relationship. It could manifest in a marital or partner relationship, a father to a child relationship, or an employer to an employee relationship. Early on in life, male BPD is often confused with oppositional defiant disorder, attention deficit disorder, intermittent explosive disorder, conduct disorder, or bipolar depression.
A.J. writes from her own life experience, education and over 20 years of experience working with clients with Personality Disorders or the Loved.
Everyone has their own ways of expressing emotions and reacting to life circumstances. If your emotions feel out of control or you have a hard time coming down from those emotions, then those big feelings could indicate that you are suffering from emotional dysregulation or Borderline Personality Disorder. Emotional dysregulation is when a person experiences intense emotions they are unable to manage in constructive ways. This often results in impulsive or emotional actions that cause pain and problems to the person struggling as well as their family, friends and peers.
This causes them to be regularly told that what they are feeling is wrong. If you hear those comments from loved ones or find yourself struggling to manage your emotions, know that what you are feeling is very real. While you may not trust those feelings, a therapist can help you take back control of your life, teach you skills to regulate your emotions and transform your relationships.
While many people will struggle with emotions at some point in life, if you consistently experience more than one of the symptoms below, you may be suffering from emotional dysregulation. There are many potential explanations of why you may be having trouble with emotions; therefore, it is important that you collaborate with a qualified mental health professional to assess your specific situation. Also, you may benefit from help to develop new skills for managing the emotions you experience.